Submissions and Suggestions are highly encouraged
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He won’t have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I probably won’t go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn’t have facial hair.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time